37 months later

Last month marked the 3rd anniversary of my arrival in New Zealand. I remember the first time I set foot in Christchurch Airport, I had a feeling of excitement I'd never imagined. I didn't know what to expect of the people, the place or the NZ life, but I was so psyched to find out.

The first 365 days - Settling Down

My first impression of Christchurch was that it reminded me of the film Pleasantville. Everything looked so picture perfect, it almost felt like I was in that movie. Have you seen it?

Anyway, hubby and I decided to live in a suburb called Kaiapoi so that we could be close to Esperanza, a Sabahan whose sister was my close friend back in UPM. We'd known each other for quite some time so it was nice to have at least one Sabahan friend in Christchurch. Before getting our own shack, we crashed at Es' place for a few days. She and her husband were really kind during our stay but we didn't want to invade too much of their privacy. For this reason, our house-hunting process was done in a rush, as in, we surveyed 4 houses, saw one that we liked and immediately put a deposit on it. After getting all the paper work sorted out, we moved in right away.

3-bedroom house in Kaiapoi

Just us three

The first 9 days were nice and peachy. We settled in, bought furniture for the house and made it look like home. Things changed on the 10th day when I took a pregnancy test at home. The result said: You're knocked up! My reaction to this was: HABISLAH SIA!! I know that sounds like I'm a horrible human being but I really wasn't prepared for it. The thought of having a second child was scary because 1. I was in a new town, without any family support, 2. I had to look after a 2 year old hyper-active boy and 3. I was supposed to focus on my study. It was madness.

As usual, hubby comforted me and said that everything would be okay. I guess the brief counselling worked cos I began telling myself the same thing; that everything was going to be fine. After a couple of days, I started to embrace my pregnancy and told my family about it. What I found hard about being pregnant was not being able to fulfill my pregnancy cravings. Asian restaurants were limited in Kaiapoi, so getting authentic Malaysian food like kon-lau-men, nasi lemak or fish-head curry was an impossibilty. Because of this, and the fact that I had morning sickness throughout the second trimester, my pregancy sucked a lot.

After enduring eight months of unfulfilled pregnancy cravings, Alva was finally born. I was so thankful that she didn't show any signs of kobihis symptoms. Nasiblah! Anyway, right after I delivered, my family came for a visit and helped me out during my confinement period. Another few months went by and before we knew it, we'd spent a year in Christchurch.

The second year - Finding that Comfort Zone

The second year was definitely nicer than the first. Some of the things that made me happy were: 1. I managed to adapt to the weather and food, 2. After delivery, I could see my toes again! 3. Alva turned out to be a very settled baby and 4. Hubby and I moved to the city.

We realised that living in Kaiapoi wasn't cost effective as I needed to commute from Kaiapoi to Christchurch every single day. For that reason, we moved to the city and rented a two-bedroom house 1km from the Uni. I loved the idea of being close to the CBD cos there were more things to see and do. China Town market was only 10 minutes walk from home and most of the Chinese restaurants were close by.

As I explored more of Christchurch, I started to feel more settled too. I knew where to find Asian food supplies, get the freshest fish in town and find boutiques that had the best bargains. Another reason why I felt happier was because we had more flexibility to explore the South island after Alva was born. When she turned 4 months, we started to go on road trips during holidays and weekends. Barbecue picnic with friends at the park also became a regular thing for us.

Shanttytown, West Coast



Arthur's Pass

Wellington Zoo

Castle Hill

Queenstown





Fox Glacier

Church of the Good Shepherd, Lake Tekapo

Limestones at Castle Hill

Barbecue at The Groynes

Months went by and before we knew it, we'd spent another year in Christchurch.


The Final Year - Shaken and Stirred

The third year was definitely the most challenging. Like other Cantabrians who were affected by the February 22 earthquake, I had to go through a lot of changes in life particularly in the areas of my study. My office was damaged, my data inaccessible and the whole campus was closed for a few weeks. It was a hard time for everyone. Things slowly picked up in June but they were never the same again. It took the uni 4 months to recuperate from the disaster and another 7 months for everything to go back to normal.

Despite all that gloomy setbacks, I do have a couple of things to be grateful for. After the big quake, mom came to stay  for 3 months to help out with the kids. She did all the cooking, babysitting, cleaning and nagging. Hehe. After she left, dad took over and came to stay with us for 2 months. Dad's a bit laidback in the babysitting area but I didn't mind it at all. Example of being laidback? He'd let the kids EAT Milo and dip their fingers in the peanut butter jar. Siok kan?

Sis and Carol also came for a short visit in September. Thanks to them, hubby and I could travel to Wellington without the kids, and get our certs from the Malaysian High Commissioner. All in all, I was pampered for 5 wonderful months.

After everyone left, it was time to focus on my thesis and spend more time with Yoda. The pressure started to pick up when Yoda told me to get two chapters done by September. Things got so very hectic, I hardly had time for anything else. Two miserable months went by and before I knew it, I'd spent three years in Christchurch. Amazing how time flies eh?

Living here has proven to be a very enlightening experience. I know from time to time, I complain a lot about what's lacking in Christchurch bla bla bla. But then, if I could do it all over again,  I'd probably take the same path.

It has definitely been an interesting journey so far and I reckon things will get even more exciting as my submission date draws near. Wish me luck! :)

Friday Fingers: Aqua Green Gradient

I did this in less than 20 minutes.....

My favourite FF design so far :)

Feeling Christmassy

I put up our Christmas tree two weeks before advent in the hope that it would evoke some Christmas feeling in me. I think it probably did, but the feeling didn't last long. You can't blame me really. The kids don't get along with  the Christmas tree at all.

They were very much in awe of it when I first put it up, but after some time the novelty wore off. It has now become their favourite spot when playing tag and on many occasions, it has fallen over. The tree has gone through so many hardships, it is now crooked. Plus, the ornaments are all over the place; as in they have no common theme.

Despite its shortcomings, the tree somehow serves its pupose - as a reminder that Christmas is drawing near. Deep down, I do feel excited about the season but I'm trying hard to stifle this excitement. If I don't do that, all hell will break loose. What will happen? Well, knowing me, I'll probably shove my thesis aside for a month and start doing Christmassy activities like shopping, planning Christmas outings, thinking about my outfit, contemplating on what to do with my hair and just waste time entertaining myself.

All the above activities spell DANGER.

I can't afford to waste time cos I have to to finish my writing asap. That's why I need to focus on my work and NOT let the festive feeling take control of me. I have managed to do that until today. This afternoon, my family and I went to this wonderful Santa Parade along Riccarton road and since then, I've been feeling crazy-excited. How could I not? The performers at the parade looked so cheerful in their Christmas outifits, smiling and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. I couldn't help but feel the joy.

I had planned to take heaps of photos during the parade but after only 15 minutes, the battery went dead. I had no choice but to use my cell phone. The culprits behind the weak battery were none other than the Alden and Alva. They unplugged the battery charger from the socket before the battery was fully recharged and neither hubby nor I were aware of this. It was frustrating alright.

Having said that, the photos didn't turn out as bad as I thought. These are some of the okay ones I took.

Yeah..The Christmas feeling is definitely in the air now. Although I'm not spiritually prepared for it, I am certainly enjoying the warm feelings and happy thoughts brought by this parade. Happy Advent everyone!

Friday Fingers: Inspired by Design

Bida, but I am too exhausted to try another design. I'll do better next week :)

My Litttle Menace

When I was a kid and I did something wrong, my parents spanked my ass. My mum did most of the spanking and my dad would be her loyal accomplice. We never had a conversation about why I was spanked or the justification behind the punishment. I was supposed to figure it out all by myself and learn my lesson.

Back in those days parenting seemed so easy.

Today, bringing up a child is as hard as rocket science. Best example? Alden. As some of you know, Alden is an EXTREMELY cheeky boy. Of course, in this context, the word cheeky translates to nakal, galangas and kai chai. Those are the terms used by my mum, sis and dad to address my boy. Because of his cheeky personality, the school referred us to the ministry of education for an intervention programme to help minimise some of his disruptive behaviours.

Yesterday was our fourth therapy. As usual, Alden and I checked in at the clinic (ministry office) reception at 9.00 am and waited for M, the child psychologist. When Alden saw M, he immediately said hello and smiled sweetly. He looked so motivated and interested in what was going to happen. We proceeded to the session room which had a one-way mirror and a video cam. I thought the mirror thingy  was cool cos it reminded me of those interrogation rooms in CSI. The mirror was necessary as M needed to do the observation without Alden knowing.

As always, M demonstrated how we should play a game and laid out the instructions on the board. When she was around, it was obvious that Alden tried his hardest to impress her. I know he's just a kid but it looks as if he has this huge crush on M. From time to time, he'd turn to the psychologist and said  "I like your skirt M",  "I like your shoes M. So nice!" or "I like your hair M". The best compliment was "I like you. You're so pretty".

I guess this is a good thing. At least he's keen about the therapy.

During the session, we played five games altogether and throughout the games, he had to sit crossed- legged on the floor, facing me. I was in charge and had the say on who goes first, which car he should pick, etc. The rule was to take turns when playing and if he doesn't play properly he will need to sit on the chair. That's a time-out.

In our previous sessions, he had quite a number of time outs but yesterday, only one. He behaved the whole time, even when  M left the room. M said this was a vast improvement and it showed that Alden could really control his own behaviour if he wanted to. I was so happy to hear this.

After our final game, M told Alden to go to school and bid him goodbye. I dropped him off at 10.30 am and  rushed to the office to get some work done. I only had two hours to do my thesis before the kids get off from school. After spending only 40 minutes in the office, I got a call from school. It was the admin clerk. Apparently, Alden was being 'difficult' in class and since the substitute could not handle him, I had take him home.

I couldn't believe this was happening after such a great session in the morning. When I got to school, I braced myself for the inevitable - complaints from the teachers. According to the clerk, Alden threw his food on the floor, cried loudly, took all the books from the book shelves and threw them all over the classroom. She said Alden was being 'impossible'. As a mother, it wasn't easy for me to digest all this. Makes one feel like a failure you know.

I asked where he was and was told to go to the hall where the juniors were having an assembly. When I got there, I saw the little menace standing by the door, with the teacher aide. He spotted me and quickly got out. Outside the hall, I had to endure another round of complaints from the teacher aide. When I saw him smiling mischievously, all I wanted to do was strangle him. Gerigitan describes my feeling at that time.

In the car, I gave him the silent treatment. Since I couldn't get hold of M immediately, I decided to hide all his toys and books when we got home. I also banned TV watching for the entire day. I wanted him to know what he did was wrong and that it had negative consequences. This should teach him, I thought.

WRONG.

Instead of crying and feeling remorseful, he started playing with my nail polish collection and pretended they were airplanes. The TV remote became a rocket and his drink bottle became a truck. He seemed fine without his toys. Happy even. Needless to say, I was a bit annoyed.

When I thought about my unfinished work, the complaints from the teacher and the therapy session, I just felt so frustrated. I called sis to let it all out.

And That was yesterday.

Today, he is so much better. No tantrums and no calls from the school. I had a chat with Mrs. Waterman about yesterday's incident and she told me not to get upset. She said from time to time, kids have bad days too and yesterday just happened to be Alden's. She's such a sweetheart. After a nice little chat with Mrs. Waterman, I left the classroom feeling a bit lighthearted.

I realised long ago that parenthood ain't easy but these few days have just been super challenging. I think it doesn't matter if you have 3 kids or 13, parenting is one tough job. Well, hubby and I have 16 more years to perfect this skill with Alden. One day, I'm sure we'll get it right.