Gym Class Monster

Last week, I went to my first Xtrain class at the College. According to the gym's website, the class is "a combination of aerobics routines designed to improve muscles and cardio fitness". It sounded perfect for me so I decided to give it a go.

Friday evening, I got ready for class. It was hard to get out of the house but it was well worth it when I arrived at the gym to find a very enthusiastic instructor waiting for me. I mean us, the students. Mr D, who appeared to be in his late forties wasn't what I expected at all. Yes, he was very fit but I had imagined someone a lot younger and more appealing. Someone like Christiano Ronaldo.

A girl can dream right?

At exactly 5.30 pm, Mr D started the class with a low-impact routine; march - side-step - leg curl. He used an upbeat disco music from the 70s which kept everyone entertained. Well, everyone except me. I can't stomach tunes from the 70s so the songs were kind of nauseating for me. Having said that, I did enjoy the workout.

Four routines and five disco songs later, Mr D stopped the music. What a relief! I watched as he changed the CD and waited patiently for what I hoped was a song from this century. When he finally pushed PLAY, my brain almost exploded.  It was Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Staying Alive, Staying Alive.

As you can imagine, I felt like killing Mr D. 

I know I should have casually left the gym, but I didn't. I kept my cool and stayed for the next routine. It wasn't easy, I assure you. This one involved a bit of jogging and lots of squatting. The squats are tricky cos you need to go down low and squeeze your butt cheeks together, tightly. Seven minutes in, my knee started acting up. When Mr D noticed that some of us weren't doing it right, he boomed "common! tighten those muscles!" When that didn't scare us, he threatened to check our butt cheeks.  Damnit! I had to put on a show and squat like I've never squatted before. When I was done, my calves felt like jelly.

After that gruesome routine, Mr D decided to continue the torture. He divided us into 2 teams and placed us on the opposite end of the gym. Team 1's job was to squat as many times as possible and high-five the runners  from Team 2. Our job in Team 2 was to run to the opposite end of the gym and high-five the people in Team 1. We needed to do this for the entire duration of 5 minutes, going back and forth, back and forth until Mr D blew the whistle.

This was worse than the squatting act cos I had to run non-stop. I huffed and puffed, cursed in my head, huffed puffed, cursed in my head, huffed and puffed and cursed some more. My muscles were aching but I continued to run. My ego wouldn't let me quit.

At one point, I was running  shoulder to shoulder with a Kiwi girl 3 times my size. I was comfortable at that pace but I decided to kick it up a notch by getting ahead of her. When I eventually did, my heart soared! YAY!!! Now I wasn't the slowest runner anymore! She was.

30 seconds later, all that changed. I had to stop abruptly  cos I got these really bad cramps across my stomach.  I went to a corner and bent over to ease the pain. Now if you've ever watched one of the initial episodes of The Biggest Loser, you'll probably have seen those contestants who were pushed so hard that they broke down and cried. It wasn't that dramatic for me, but like those contestants, I felt like dying. I was panting for air and taking deep breaths. When Mr D saw me, he shouted "Common..Keep running!" That got everyone's attention. My face felt warm with embarassment but I wasn't budging. I ignored Mr D and the rest of the world.

After a few minutes, the cramps eased. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 6.15pm. Great. Ten more minutes before it's over. I concentrated as the Psycho started a cool down routine - lots of stretching and bending etc. The music? An epic song from the 70s of course. He'd play the same tune  till hell freezes over. Oh! You know what else he did? During the cool down bits, he sang along to the music with the microphone turned on. O-M-G. It was the most annoying thing EVER. I hated it as much as I hate Jacob Lusk's over-the-top performances.

When the class finally ended, Mr D thanked everyone and told us to attend the next session on Monday. Though it sounded excitingly suicidal  and FUN, *eye roll* I decided to pass. I didn't want to aggravate my hypertension.

This week, I'm attending a Zumba class conducted by a very cool instructor.  She plays music from this era and she doesn't use aggression. Thanks to Mr D, I can now tell the difference between good and bad instructors.

Back to Fighting the Flab

Yesterday morning while we were having the group activity for the research showcase thing, Kata asked me why I haven't been to the gym. I told her I was too busy with my thesis, kids and house chores that there was no time to do anything else. You know, the usual blah blah blah I tell people. As soon as I said that, I felt soooo....I don't know...slugish? Unproductive? Lazy? I felt like I have given up on exercising and let myself go.

I do not want to be slugish and unproductive and lazy anymore.

So. I have decided that no matter how busy I am, I shall attend at least one session per week. I made up my mind and told Kata "I think I'm going to join you as soon as I come back from Melbourne". She squealed with delight and said "Yay! Come on Tuesday's. It's the best!"

So Tuesday it is. There's a new class called Zumba which I'm quite excited about. I've heard a lot of good reviews about it. If I have the energy and will-power, I might even go thrice a week. But we'll see how it goes. 

I can't wait to see J Lo's Butt and Anorexic Girl though. Hope they're still around :)

The Hot and the Not in Gym Class

I'm not trying to turn this blog into a training log but I just can't help talking about my fitness classes. They are after all, more appealing than my academic work. Anyway, after attending regular classes for almost a month, I have decided to stick to the ones I like. The schedule looks like this and I have tried almost all of the sessions offered.

All except for STEP, YOGA and SPIN classes. STEP is a stepping routine for beginners *yawn* and it's sort of like an oriented session for beginners to learn the basics in aerobics. Yoga is a flowing sequence of asanas or poses (boooo-ring) and SPIN classes are indoor cycling routines which cost an extra $3 fee. That leaves me with these:

Ko-Extreme - Kick boxing inspired workout

Blitz - Jumping around three different disciplines

NRG- High impact workout

BAT - Butt, abs and thigh workout

CardioFunk- low impact dance class with creative choreography

So my favourites are KO Extreme, Blitz, NRG and BAT. It's not just the routine you see. It's the people in class that make it interesting. Certain people have definitely made an impression on me like stripey aunty, fit aunty and yes, cute blond instructor with perky butt. Ahhhhhh....how I'd kill to have those perky butts. They look like J-Lo's butt on steroids! All fleshy, round and springy. You could make a guy do a whole thesis for you with that kind of butt. Well, not that I would, if I had those assets. I'm just saying.

Now where was I? Oh yes, interesting people in gym class right? Well, there's a girl from my KO Extreme class who seems to attract a lot of attention by her mere presence. I noticed her in my second session and my friend tells me she's been a regular since last year. Like the blond instructor, she turns heads too, but not exactly in the same way. People practically stare at her cos she's so skinny.

I mean, really skinny. As in anorexic-looking skinny. You know what I mean?

Whenever I see her, I get all maternal and all I want to do is feed her with a whole load of hamburgers.  The sight of her is depressing. Despite being so awfully skinny, she is still able to jump, run, skip and kick through all the routines. I don't know where she gets her energy from. One thing's for sure: You should never stand next to her in gym class cos you'll end up looking fat. Next to her, I'm obese.

If she's around, it is also best NOT to go to the changing room after a workout cos she normally showers at the common shower room. Yes, in a room where everyone can see her N-A-K-E-D. Okay let's take a moment for a communal jaw-drop. The vision of her body is like a mental torture to me. The sunken face,  the protruding ribcage, the pale skin and the whole shrunken body is just too much. I feel really sorry for her cos she obviously needs help but how do you tell a girl she's anorexic?

You don't. Unless of course you want to have a mortal combat with an anorexic girl. She's quite good at KO-Extreme you know.

Anyway, now that I've seen her so many times, I'm not as appalled as I was the first time I saw her. I'm like, "oh there she is, don't stare!" I'm more or less immune to her presence now and only stare once in a while. She doesn't go to the Blitz and BAT classes cos they involve lots of weight training, so I'm safe. I have enough distractions as it is with stripey aunty  and booby lady in these sessions, so it's good not having to see her all the time. What's the story with booby lady? Let's just say, everyone can see her big cherries all the time. Thanks to her too-thin sports bra. Hehe.

So yeah. My workout routine is very much set now; Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. I haven't lost any weight yet, but it sure is fun and interesting :)