The Boy Who Rocks My World

Dearest Alden,

Four years ago today, you came into the world.  It was one of the happiest moments in my life and I remember it so vividly as if it happened yesterday. Before I go all touchy-feely talking about how much you've grown over the years, I'd like to tell you what happened moments before you were born. Rest assured, I'm not going to talk about the gory details, so there is no need to feel sick. Unless of course, you decide to watch the  whole footage shot by Daddy.

Back to the story. It was 7.45 a.m. and there I was lying anxiously on the operating table, waiting to be slaughtered by Dr. R. At that time, your dad was not allowed to enter yet cos the doctors  needed to get me sorted out first, so naturally I was feeling kind of miserable. At 8.00 a.m. the anesthetist came to inject the anesthetic into my spinal cord. It felt like the sting of an ant's bite at first but as the needle went deeper, it felt more like a cold dagger piercing into my back - so nyilu. Since Dr. R warned me not to move, I was very obedient and remained still during the whole ordeal. After being anesthetized, I lay on my back and waited for the slaughtering to begin. At this point, the anesthetic started to take effect and I could feel my legs going numb.  After awhile, I felt paralysed from the waist down and let me tell you, it was the yuckiest feeling ever.

To make myself feel better, I tried lifting my right leg, but only managed to lift it half way before it fell limply on my side. I panicked. I tried lifting it again but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do it. It felt so damn heavy! I kept thinking CAN'T-MOVE-MY-LEGS!!! ARGH!!! CANT-MOVE-HELP! Doctors started noticing my effort and ordered me to be still. But NO. I didnt want to be still cos I wanted to move my legs! So I started flipping my hands like a madwoman, thinking that that could help move my legs. The OT started to get a bit chaotic cos I wouldn't stop flipping like a half-dead fish so Dr R. got the nurses to hold me, and tried to calm me down. Then your dad came in and started holding my hands, telling me to calm down. I wasn't listening of course. I told Dr. R "I change my mind. I don't want spinal! I want GA!". Dr. R said cannot change my mind tiba tiba. I felt like scratching his face at that time. Then my BP skyrocketed - 160/ 110 and that was the final straw. Dr. R. ended my suffering by putting an oxygen mask on my face and that's when everything changed dramatically. I suddenly felt happy and calm. Then Dr. R did his thing - some incisions, some pushing and shoving and then you were out Alden! You were all wet, gooey and so tiny. And that's how mommy saw you the first time we met.

Today, you're all grown up. A big boy, a preschooler and most of all, a big brother to little Alva. I know you still feel miserable having her around cos you hate sharing stuff with her - parents, toys, TV, etc. but I  am certain that in time you will learn to love her. Apart from being a bully brother at home, you're everything a mother could ever want. You're affectionate, loving and very dramatic. If you hear a siren, you'd feign surprise and say "oh gosh!" in the most dramatic manner. If we watch a scary cartoon like Scooby Doo, you'd be shaking and gasping when you see the ghost. And if you find something funny to laugh about, you'd be rolling on the floor, saying "so pani (funny)" repeatedly. What can I say? You're such a character.

In terms of speech development, I must say you have improved tremendously. You can now get your message across 90% of the time and you can even carry out a short conversation with 3-word sentences. I'm so proud of you! Sure, most of the time only mommy can understand you but that's because I'm a good listener  and I really pay attention to what you're saying. Others should try to be a better listener when talking to you.

In terms of interest, you still love trains and cars. Your favourite cartoon is Thomas the tank engine but you're still loyal to the Little Einsteins. You can play with your wooden train set all day and  I  just love watching you play because you get so focused and serious. Your attention to detail especially in setting up the train tracks and the way your little hands work on the small parts give me the impression that you will have a career in the medical field. Like becoming a specialist or something. I am hoping you'd become a plastic surgeon so that you could earn a lot of money and help people. That way, you could give mommy regular treatments in your clinic - botox, lasers, IPLs - all for free. Think about this Alden.

Another thing I have noticed about you is your ability in making decisions for yourself and others. You have started to pick your own clothes to school and sometimes you even tell me what to wear. Your taste is  often impeccable.Last Sunday, you chose your own birthday cake and everybody commented how yummy it was.  Great choice! And of course when it comes to what food to eat, you know exactly what you want -it's either corn soup or chicken soup. You are less picky than you were 6 months ago so I guess I should be thankful for that. We'll continue working on your positive eating habits and try to get you to eat more healthy food. It sounds easy but in reality, it's not. But we'll keep on trying.

Birthday party at Teo Ao Tamariki

 Having you has taught me a lot about motherhood - it's a challenging journey but  it's highly gratifying.  I know I'm not a perfect mommy yet. At this stage, it's quite difficult for me to strike a balance between studying and being a mommy. And because of this, I sometimes get sloppy when it comes to your school preparation. Like  when I get so busy thinking about my thesis, I forget to put diapers in your bag and you'd end up coming home with school diapers and training pants. And if I forget to put some shoes on you , you'd end up wearing the school's gumboots all day. And sometimes your socks don't match cos the other pair is lost in the washing machine, but that's okay cos you're always wearing jeans anyway, so no one would notice. But I promise you, that will never happen again. Pinky swear!

I think I've said it all Alden. You are mommy's pride and joy and biggest achievement ever. Happy Birthday.



Love

Mommy