A birthday letter from a friend

Dear Alice,

As of today you have spent 33 years on this planet. I know you totally don’t feel like you’re thirty three and I'm here to tell you that it's perfectly normal. I also know that you're very confused as to why you still feel like you're in your mid twenties. Again, this is not unusual. I don't think anyone out there can give you a straight answer as to how a 33 year old should feel or behave.

I wouldn't say that you're in denial cos that means you're pretending that you're not aging. You don't deny your age. In fact, you concede to the physical changes caused by aging. So what's wrong with you? Well, the thing is, your emotional maturity doesn’t match your chronological age. I believe a lot of women suffer from this. Those species from Mars are even worse. They refuse to act their age until they are nearly 60.

Despite not having sufficient emotional maturity, you seem to be doing fine so far. You're married to a man who adores you. You have two wonderful kids who amuse you, a loving and supportive famiy,  loyal friends who'd help when you need them and this blog which helped forge so many virtual friendships. What else could you possibly want? Okay, so maybe you don't have that fancy schmancy walk-in wardrobe you've always dreamed of but that can wait. You just got to be patient. For now, you should count your blessings and thank God for everything.

To be honest with you, I think you still have a lot to improve. One of them is to  learn how to relax and go with the flow. I know you're uptight about your paper work every day, so much so that it impedes your ability to function in society. Like, when you meet new people at a barbecue party and they ask you "So what are you studying?" you'd give them a long chronological report of your research. You'd get so engrossed in explaining how some of your samples almost screwed up Study 2 that you don't notice the look of disdain on their faces. Stop it okay. Not everyone likes to hear about your thesis. Next time, just say hi and talk about the weather. That always works.

The second thing I'd like to point out is your habit to procrastinate. As your friend, I'm begging you to kill this habit once and for all. Seriously. You'd get so much writing done if you'd just stop wasting your time doing other stuff or watching that silly drama called Pretty Little Liars. Come on la, you're not even the target audience. The only reason you watch that show is because you love its wardobe. My advice: don't dilly dally anymore. There's no time like now.

My third advice is don't fret over the small stuff.  One thing you should learn is to pick your battles with the kids. Before reacting, assess the situation and then decide whether it's worth getting mad or not.  For example,

Situation A: Alden doodles on the wall using unwashable crayons. Red crayons. The verdict? Petty. Don't get mad. Just walk away and let your husband deal with it.

Situation B: Alden empties a bottle of eucalyptus oil by pouring it all over the soft toys and then he takes your lipstick and smears it on the doll's face. What do you do?

Shout.

At the top of your lungs.

Although daily babysitting isn't a bed of roses, you should enjoy the wondeful time you have with Alden and Alva. The kids will never be this age again. Before long, Alva won't be able to fit herself into that tiny toy box anymore. When Alden turns 13, you will never hear him say "Wanna lie down on your tummy mummy." When they both enter their teen years, you'll never get to play hide and seek with them anymore. Cherish these adorable moments for they will become wonderful memories in the future.

I know at the moment you feel as if time just whizzes by and that there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything. As I said before, relax. Some things are beyond your control and if you can't get it done, never mind. Don't let  it bother you. Eventually, all will be well.

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Happy birthday my dear.


Yours truly,

That little voice in your head