March 24, 2010

18 months to go

My recent meeting with Professor X went pretty well. Once again he has put me back on track. Despite feeling good about the meeting, I can't help feeling like a second fiddle next to Kusai, my officemate  (not real name).

Since both Kusai and I share the same supervisor, we both had our meeting on the same day in our own little office. As always, his appointment came first and mine second. I had to sit at my desk and wait for him to finish before I could have my time with Professor X.  During the meeting, Kusai talked about the progress of his research and the work that he has carried out. Although I appeared to be occupied and  indifferent to what he was saying, I was partially eavesdropping the whole time. Well, technically I wasn't really eavesdropping cos they both knew I was in the room. Let's just say, I was multi-tasking. 

So anyway, I overheard Kusai talking about his research; the laborious data collection procedure,  smooth data analysis, his helpful co-researchers and the generous funding he's getting from  the institution. By the time he finished, my ears were bleeding with envy and I momentarily became this green-eyed monster.

When it was my turn to report, I felt so...inadequate. I don't know if that's the right adjective to describe my feelings but that's how I'd phrase it. INADEQUATE. I told Professor X everything about my data collection procedure which was much simpler compared to Kusai's, my research samples which were relatively smaller compared to Kusai's and the agonizing data analysis which I was still struggling to do. When I finished, Professor X smiled and said "Well done!" Even though he only said it twice during our discussion (Kusai got 7 well-dones btw) I was happy and instantly motivated.

The meeting gave me a great boost cos it made me realize how inefficient I've been. Never mind the babysitting and chicken pox attack. Those are excuses. I need to wisen up, work harder and overcome my inadequacy or should I say inadequacies. I don't want to be second fiddle anymore. I want to go beyond Professor X's expectations and see the look of awe on his face when he sees my work. And I have exactly 18 months to do that. I'd better get started now :)


Gallivanter said...

Here's a third one - Well done! :-D


Lizeewong said...

Thanks! :)

Nessa said...

Hi Lizee!

I'm so glad I'm so over with studies... LOL! But I guess I can relate. It's kinda similar when you're working too especially during appraisal.

Just don't stress yourself out gia (senang ja cakap kan)... hehe.

Thanks for dropping by my place :)

chegu carol said...

buli tu kau liz.
im sure you will be able to make your prof proud...and most important, you feel proud of yourself too.

Lizeewong said...

Thanks Kay! I hope so. My motivation fluctuates from time to time ba.

Lizeewong said...

Hi Nessa...

Will try not to stress :)

TheWanderingSumandak...... said...

hanging on there lizee..i'm sure something worthwhile will come out of it, eventually :)

Lizeewong said...

Thanks mandak :) You're right...think about the end result ba kan :)