My Litttle Menace

When I was a kid and I did something wrong, my parents spanked my ass. My mum did most of the spanking and my dad would be her loyal accomplice. We never had a conversation about why I was spanked or the justification behind the punishment. I was supposed to figure it out all by myself and learn my lesson.

Back in those days parenting seemed so easy.

Today, bringing up a child is as hard as rocket science. Best example? Alden. As some of you know, Alden is an EXTREMELY cheeky boy. Of course, in this context, the word cheeky translates to nakal, galangas and kai chai. Those are the terms used by my mum, sis and dad to address my boy. Because of his cheeky personality, the school referred us to the ministry of education for an intervention programme to help minimise some of his disruptive behaviours.

Yesterday was our fourth therapy. As usual, Alden and I checked in at the clinic (ministry office) reception at 9.00 am and waited for M, the child psychologist. When Alden saw M, he immediately said hello and smiled sweetly. He looked so motivated and interested in what was going to happen. We proceeded to the session room which had a one-way mirror and a video cam. I thought the mirror thingy  was cool cos it reminded me of those interrogation rooms in CSI. The mirror was necessary as M needed to do the observation without Alden knowing.

As always, M demonstrated how we should play a game and laid out the instructions on the board. When she was around, it was obvious that Alden tried his hardest to impress her. I know he's just a kid but it looks as if he has this huge crush on M. From time to time, he'd turn to the psychologist and said  "I like your skirt M",  "I like your shoes M. So nice!" or "I like your hair M". The best compliment was "I like you. You're so pretty".

I guess this is a good thing. At least he's keen about the therapy.

During the session, we played five games altogether and throughout the games, he had to sit crossed- legged on the floor, facing me. I was in charge and had the say on who goes first, which car he should pick, etc. The rule was to take turns when playing and if he doesn't play properly he will need to sit on the chair. That's a time-out.

In our previous sessions, he had quite a number of time outs but yesterday, only one. He behaved the whole time, even when  M left the room. M said this was a vast improvement and it showed that Alden could really control his own behaviour if he wanted to. I was so happy to hear this.

After our final game, M told Alden to go to school and bid him goodbye. I dropped him off at 10.30 am and  rushed to the office to get some work done. I only had two hours to do my thesis before the kids get off from school. After spending only 40 minutes in the office, I got a call from school. It was the admin clerk. Apparently, Alden was being 'difficult' in class and since the substitute could not handle him, I had take him home.

I couldn't believe this was happening after such a great session in the morning. When I got to school, I braced myself for the inevitable - complaints from the teachers. According to the clerk, Alden threw his food on the floor, cried loudly, took all the books from the book shelves and threw them all over the classroom. She said Alden was being 'impossible'. As a mother, it wasn't easy for me to digest all this. Makes one feel like a failure you know.

I asked where he was and was told to go to the hall where the juniors were having an assembly. When I got there, I saw the little menace standing by the door, with the teacher aide. He spotted me and quickly got out. Outside the hall, I had to endure another round of complaints from the teacher aide. When I saw him smiling mischievously, all I wanted to do was strangle him. Gerigitan describes my feeling at that time.

In the car, I gave him the silent treatment. Since I couldn't get hold of M immediately, I decided to hide all his toys and books when we got home. I also banned TV watching for the entire day. I wanted him to know what he did was wrong and that it had negative consequences. This should teach him, I thought.

WRONG.

Instead of crying and feeling remorseful, he started playing with my nail polish collection and pretended they were airplanes. The TV remote became a rocket and his drink bottle became a truck. He seemed fine without his toys. Happy even. Needless to say, I was a bit annoyed.

When I thought about my unfinished work, the complaints from the teacher and the therapy session, I just felt so frustrated. I called sis to let it all out.

And That was yesterday.

Today, he is so much better. No tantrums and no calls from the school. I had a chat with Mrs. Waterman about yesterday's incident and she told me not to get upset. She said from time to time, kids have bad days too and yesterday just happened to be Alden's. She's such a sweetheart. After a nice little chat with Mrs. Waterman, I left the classroom feeling a bit lighthearted.

I realised long ago that parenthood ain't easy but these few days have just been super challenging. I think it doesn't matter if you have 3 kids or 13, parenting is one tough job. Well, hubby and I have 16 more years to perfect this skill with Alden. One day, I'm sure we'll get it right.