February 3, 2011

Write a Great Story, I must

I haven’t written for ages because of my thesis. I don’t even have the privilege of surfing the net without thinking about it. It’s like a disease you know. Plaguing my entire being; body, mind and spirit.
I'm not being dramatic. Just two months ago, I was diagnosed with hypertension and was advised to meditate and loosen up. That's the physical effect. Mental effect? Well, for a start, my mind is screwed. I can’t stop thinking about SPSS and those numbers in the spreadsheet. I see them when I’m driving, sleeping, eating and even when I’m meditating. I’m probably doing it all wrong cos I don't really know any meditation teachniques. How do you really meditate when that little voice in your head just won't shut up? 

"Ba, meditate...Should I sit cross-legged?
Macam nda ngam saja ni....is this meditation?

After 3 minutes....

How long should I do this ah?
Nah! lupa tingu jam... haiya, let's start over

Okay, now stop talking and start meditating la.
Ba, meditate....


BUT. All is not lost. After a few attempts, I came up with a great technique which is so easy! Just spell the word N-O-T-H-I-N-G in your head and repeat it over and over again until all you could picture is N-O-T-H-I-N-G. You can also picture the word in colours, if that makes you happy. Smart eh? My sister says I’m losing it.

Okay. Spiritual effects? Well, let’s just say I have turned into a gloomy, low-spirited mortal who doesn’t get excited over petty stuff anymore. Before this thing called PhD, I see myself as a bubbly, person who gets excited over a little scrunchie or when there’s a season-clearance sale at Pagani, or when GLEE is playing on TV. Not anymore. Now, I have this big catastrophy to worry about, so all fun things in the world can wait.

And then there's Yoda. Yoda, Yoda, Yoda. He holds the key to everything cos he is the only one with the light sabers and I mean heaps and heaps of them. He's a light saber hoarder I tell you! As my jedi master, one would think that he'd arm me with one of his lights sabers to help clear off the dark confusion in my thesis-writing right? No. He is one luki fella. He said he'll only give it to me IF I tell him a great story.

That's the catch.

I would love to write him that great story but I don't know what the plot is. There're so many characters involved and everything is super complicated. Of course, in my story, these characters are called variables, dependent and independent variables, and all of them are having an affair with each other. Interesting right?

Anyway, this is the gist of what transpired during our discussion yesterday. Do you mind reading this with an accent? Yoda's a British.

Yoda: Now, I want you to tell me a story. What do the numbers mean? (Looking at me intently)

He was referring to the statistical analyses. I told him what I knew but each answer led to a new question.

Yoda: Right. At this stage, you need to look at these analyses and think about what they mean. And then you need to come up with a diagramatic framework of writing strategies....(discussion about correlation results followed)

I said Okay to everything.

Yoda: Now, let's look at the results again. What can you tell me? Why do you think it appears as negative in Group A and C but not in Group B? 

I was clueless.

Yoda: It's okay to say I don't know. 

Me: I don't know.

Yoda: Okay. Let's see....Maybe.....bla bla bla bla bla bla...

He came up with a brilliant argument to describe the results so I tried to jot down every single thing he said.

Me: Can you repeat that Yoda?

Yoda: Nope nope nope! I'm not going to do that. (smiling smugly)

Me: You said something about a new strategy progressing...an effect of increased L2 proficiency???

Yoda: Yes, somewhere along those lines. Work on that argument.(still smiling smugly)

Baboon ba si Yoda ni. Tambah lagi my high blood pressure.

Yoda: So, as I was saying, you need to have a think about what these numbers mean. Don’t give up when things get difficult, cos it’s supposed to be.

There was a pause....He was looking at me to see if I was paying attention.

Yoda: You need to extract whatever is in here (points to head) and get them down on paper. This is when your brain explodes (hand gestures demonstrating an explosion) cos there’s just too much for the brain to take!!!

I'm kidding (He chuckled)

How is that funny?! It isn't funny at all! I'm starting to think that he likes seeing me suffer.

Yoda: Now have a think about it, and tell me a story when you're ready. Same time next week?

That's why I haven't written. I need a plot for my big story.

Anyway, Gong Xi Fa Cai to all of you who celebrate the occasion. May the force be with you.


GladysDavid said...

Reminds me of my own agony completing my fyp back in school.

May the force be with you, happy chinese new year and all the best for your thesis ^^

chegu carol said...

LOL! I tried to read Yoda's line in British accent but of course I failed. Hahaha!

From the conversation, Yoda has a lot of stories in mind about what's getting in on your thesis. Macam sia yang mau cakap sama dia, bah kasi cerita lah saya apa jalan cerita dia...hahaha. But then again, he's the 'wise one' with the power to mark your paper alphabets of his liking...memang lah bah kan.

Gong Xi Fa Cai Liz and Alex and Alden and Vava.

LaViaP said...

Yoda: Think about it you need, tell the story when you're ready. Same time next week...

Yeah I'm a Sci-Fi geek also.

Happy CNY, may the force be with you, have a mandarin carrot. LOL

Amanda Christine Wong said...

Girl, u NEVER fail to make me LOL with ur stories! Well, hope u get ur 'story' soon then. and Gong Xi Fatt Chai to u and ur family all the way from Keningau :D

Sabahan Bloggers Club said...

That was fun. I wish you can add Luke Skywalker in the story too.

SBC Admin.
Sabahan Bloggers Club.

CathJ said...

not easy oh to go for PHD...any way hang on there... :D

and Gong Xi Fah Chai.. ^_^

Tina said...

All the best for that 'great-story-you-must-write' Lizee! Don't try 'too hard' and your characters will slowly reveal themselves and come to visit.
Wishing you health and prosperity!
Take care!

Lizeewong said...

Gladys - Thanks moi..Btw, what's fyp ah? :)

Kay-Iya ba..I wish he'd just tell me what it's all about. Gong Xi Fa Cai to you too :)

Paival-Hi 5! Agree with you I do! Hehehe...Mandarin carrot??? LOL!! Haven't seen one ;P

Manda-Thanks dear. I don't know when I'll get the AHA moment but I will try. Gong xi gong xi to you too :)

SBC- Hahaha...Don't you know? I AM Luke Skywalker, trying to be a Jedi.

Thanks Cath...Ya, I wish I could just make a wish and have this all over and done :) Happy CNY to you too moi ^__^

Hi Tina! Yes..you're right. Maybe I should just leave the numbers for a few days and see how it goes. Happy hols to you :)

TheWanderingSumandak...... said...

Aduss..if I'm in your shoes, I think there'll also be mushroom clouds on my mind! I hate that British Yoda already..

gunsirit said...

One of the causes of Hypertension is salty food? Hmm..have to cut on these..anyway I am your latest follower..heheh

debrajill said...

Hi kak! Happy chinese new year to you, koko Alex,Den den and Vava..Take care ya!

Lizeewong said...

Ennie- Hai mandak..ni la ni, nda siap2...I LOVE Yoda, I just hate his style :)

Gunsirit - Iya ba..Salty food is one of the causes of high blood pressure ..Thanks for dropping by and being a follower :)

Lizeewong said...

Debs!!! How is your belly??? I heard the GOOD NEWS from Cha Cha yesterday!!!! So happy for you and Fredo. We'll chat when you're free.

Writing From Far said...

SPSS, I think I did the SPSS during my college time last time.

Great post.

P/s sometime i also have no idea to write and when the idea hits i think i sound like very dramatic and crap..haha